Esther Brady Crawford - faintstarlite

Potential adoptive families who passed the application screening are generally notified by a letter of the decision to move ahead to the Home Study phase. You’re then assigned a social worker who will be your licensing specialist, and depending on your state’s regulations, may or may not also be part of the placement procedures.

It seems a bit backwards that the person who gets to know you during the home study may not be the person who connects you with a child, but that is often the reality. Their job is primarily to be a resource while you’re moving forward towards getting licensed, and to create a folder (in international adoption terms: the dossier) which houses all the information and legal documents they’ve collected.

The home study process can take anywhere from 8 – 16 weeks (or longer) depending on how quickly all the background checks and CPS records come in for review by your family’s social worker.

This time frame and what precisely is included in the home study is probably what varies most from state to state so it may be helpful to review your state’s regulations. As an example, I was recently talking with a friend from Texas who said the social workers in her county actually open cupboards and look at how food is being stored, which is much more extensive than anything we encountered.

Regarding this step, the Child Welfare Information Gateway says:

“Flexibility and a sense of humor are vital characteristics when raising children, and they can be useful during the home study process as well. With perseverance and a positive outlook, you will be able to team with the social worker to make this a valuable learning experience—one that will help you do the best possible job in parenting the child who will eventually join your family.”

The cost of a home study

Unlike in international adoption where a home study can cost $1,000 – $3,000 or more – in foster adoption it’s free. However, it does have a shelf life (usually of 12 months) so that families must continue to move forward or face having to start over because the state and/or local agency wants to make sure that all the information is current.

What to expect from your foster adoption home study

Your licensing specialist will essentially ask you all the same kinds of questions that were in your application to gauge the readiness of your family to move ahead with the adoption process, and to facilitate a good match once it comes time for placement. Be prepared for 3 to 5 visits to:

1. Assess the condition of your home and make sure its in compliance with applicable laws + regulations
2. Interview all residents living in the home
3. Arrange for pre-placement training

Basic home requirements

A big, fancy house is not required. Here are the things that stood out to us that our social worker was looking for:

• Working smoke detectors in every bedroom, stairway and on each floor of the home
• At least one operable land line (we signed up for Magic Jack because we only had cell phones when the adoption process began)
• Stair rails for every set of stairs
• All bathroom doors need to be able to lock, and the lock can be opened from the outside in case of emergency (which we were able to have overridden because our doors + locks are originals from the 1890’s)
• All windows are screened
• Anything potentially hazardous to children must be stored in a non-accessible area (especially guns – although we don’t have any)
• At least one ABC rated fire extinguisher

Here in Wisconsin these are the laws regarding the adoptive child’s bedroom:

• A minimum of 40sq feet per child
• Must have a door for privacy
• Must have a dresser and/or closet
• Is not shared with an adult if the child is over the age of 1 (unless there’s a medical reason)
• Children under 7 can’t have a bedroom in the attic, basement, or third floor of a home
• Children ages 6 and over can’t share a room with a child of the opposite sex

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Step 1: Getting the facts + going to an informational meeting

Step 2: The application

Thanks to Johnson & Johnson’s Health channel on YouTube for sponsoring the series!

A few weeks ago Jude turned one. This is the story of his life:

What can I say – I’m a proud mama.

Many people fear the application – the length, the depth – but think of it as a learning process. The application is helping you weed through potential issues in your own life that may be obstacles to a successful placement – whether they’re financial or emotional. What’s nice is that filling out the application takes time and if you’re married, it requires both people participate which makes sure that you’re on the same page.

It’s one thing to talk theoretically about bringing another child into your life, but it’s another thing to sit down and fill out the necessary paperwork that officially starts the process and the time clock.

Here in Wisconsin, once an application for foster adoption is received the state is now working towards licensing the individual or couple within 120 days. So, filling out an application means you’re ready to commit to potentially being placed with a child in four months.

Being placed with a child doesn’t mean the adoption process has ended – in fact, placement is when it just begins. Foster adoption requires that the family foster until the termination of parental rights (TPR) has occurred, which usually takes between 6 – 22 months.

What to expect in the foster adoption paperwork

The application came to us in multiple parts. We thought the original 10 pages or so was the full application, but in fact, that was only the first part. In total, we probably filled out about 20 pages of paperwork – although some of it turned out to be repetitive information.

Each state’s application looks different, but here’s the questions you can expect:

• General information about the household with questions about contact information, education and income.
• Your family’s history with drugs and alcohol and psychiatric treatments – not just your household’s history but those in your extended family as well.
• Marriage and relationship history – about divorce, co-habitation, and to some degree, your sexual history.
• Whether child neglect or abuse allegations have ever been filed against you or a family member.
• Financial worksheet that details what you are worth and how much you spend. This includes all monthly expenses and how much is in your various bank accounts 401(k), investments, and what your properties are worth. It also includes questions regarding debt on mortgages, loans and credit cards.

In addition, along with the application you’ll submit:

• Health reports. Every member of the household needs to see a doctor who will fill out a health report detailing if you’re all got the required immunizations and are in good health.
• Fingerprints. Each member of the household above 18 will have to participate by submitting to an extensive background check that includes finger printing that gets cross-checked in the state database as well as the FBI database.
• Copies of all birth certificates, marriage certificates, Social Security cards, and driver’s licenses.
• Copies of recent pay stubs and tax returns.
• Releases so that previous counselors or social services workers can be interviewed.
• Autobiographical questions about your relationship with your immediate + extended family, details about childhood experiences + traumas, and reasons for deciding to go the foster adoption route.
• Several references who have known you for several years and can speak about your character – including a reference from your employer.

AdoptUsKids.org – an excellent resource also adds that applicants are responsible for:

• Being open and honest in filling out the paperwork
• Cooperating with the criminal background check and protective service checks
• Asking for help if you don’t understand something
• Agreeing to maintain confidentiality about the child and their birth family
• And agreeing to provide nurturing, safe and affectionate care for the child

Watch the video to hear what to expect from the adoption application process:

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Step 1: Getting The Facts + Going To An Informational Meeting

Thanks to Johnson & Johnson’s Health channel on YouTube for sponsoring the series!

Sharing our foster-adoption journey

We started the process in December ‘09 and are just a few weeks away from getting licensed, and once we’re licensed we’ll start getting offers for placement right away. Since we’ve been asked so many questions along the way it seemed best to create a series of posts + videos explaining our entire journey. The series will be broken down into 7 parts, each one posted every 2 weeks.

Johnson & Johnson’s Health Channel heard about our desire to create this series and graciously wanted to sponsor it – so thank you J&J for helping us spread the message about foster-adoption.

Wanting to adopt domestically but don’t know where to start?

It’s a stream-lined process and although it varies state-to-state, it’s pretty similar everywhere in the US.

Let me be clear: there is no right or wrong way to adopt. Every child from every corner of the world deserves a safe + loving home. Too many folks get caught up in the domestic vs. international, foster vs. private disputes. Arguing over those personal decisions is futile and hurtful. And it seems no matter what you choose there’s someone waiting to point out why you should’ve gone a different direction.

We initially planned to adopt internationally from Ethiopia. Maybe someday we will. But after weighing all our options we decided what was best for our family at this time was to first pursue foster-adoption.

I thought adoption was expensive?!

Most people are surprised that adopting domestically through foster-adoption is free. Yes, FREE.

In fact, we were shocked to find out they pay us (a very rough estimate being $300/mo per child) and in many cases, even after the adoption is complete the state will continue paying the monthly stipend until the child is 18. Why? Because there are a lot of waiting children – especially sibling groups of 2+ which are considered “special needs” since they’re harder to place.

If you thought adoption had to cost thousands that’s because when considering options, adoption agencies often come to mind since they have marketing budgets for advertising – and they do charge. Sometimes a lot. Usually $20,000+.

There are agencies that focus on international adoption, agencies that focus on domestic adoption, and agencies that do both. The benefit of going the agency route in domestic adoption is they buffer your risk by seeking placements from across the country. They also work outside of the foster care system – meaning, they place pregnant women with potential families.

Risks of foster adoption

All kids in the foster system have experienced some kind of neglect in order to be removed from their birth family, unless they fall under the “safe haven” provision which allows parents who no longer feel capable of caring for their child(ren) to relinquish custody without penalty.

Unfortunately there’s a stigma that’s been placed on kids in foster care. Hopefully positive images like Sandra Bullock’s movie The Blind Side will help change that because children are surprisingly resilient. All kids deserve a chance to have a family no matter what mistakes their birth parents have made.

Just how many kids are waiting in the US? Where we live in Milwaukee County alone, on any given day there are 2,300 kids needing foster homes and only 700 families. The latest estimates (Oct ‘09) place the wait list at 123,000 kids here in America… waiting for a mommy. [Ever see those photo galleries with kids? Access to the full database becomes available to you online after you've been licensed.]

In the case of Wisconsin, in order to adopt we are required to also be licensed foster parents as well. This means that we take an inherent risk of losing the children we’re trying to adopt because there are no guarantees until the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) is complete, which generally takes at least 6 months after they’ve been placed in our home. Essentially every placement in a pre-adoptive home in our state is considered a legal risk placement.

“Until a termination of parental rights is ordered by the court, the child remains in a foster care placement… this may require revealing your identity and address to the birth parents, and having the child available for visitation with biological family members or other important people to the child. However, if and when the court legally frees the child for adoption, barring any unforeseen circumstances, your home will be considered the first choice for adoption of the child.” – Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin, “Legal Risk Placement” handout

Once you’ve determined that you’re prepared to take the leap of faith required – it’s then safe to officially advance to Step 1.

Adoption Step 1: Check requirements + attend an informational meeting

Odds are that you fit exactly what the state is looking for because – let’s be honest – the standards are pretty easy to meet.

• You must be 21 years of age or older.
• You may be single, married, widowed, or be in a long term partnership. No pending separations or divorces.
• You must be in good health and be willing to provide documentation from your doctor’s office.
• You may have children or none at all. If you have 5+ you may need a special request document.
• You can own or rent your home.
• You have to have enough space in the home. Children 6+ years old can’t share a room with the opposite gender.
• You have to have enough income to be able to provide for the child. They’ll look at your debt-income ratio but there aren’t specific income (must make X dollars) requirements.

Other things to note:

• You need to have a home study conducted. This includes complying with safety checklists.
• You must provide proof of homeowner’s or renter’s insurance as well as automobile liability insurance.
• You have to pass a criminal background check.
• You need at least 3 non-related friends to vouch for your sanity.
• You must agree to comply with state and national regulations, such as their “no corporeal punishment” policy.

{Disclaimer: All information provided is based on our experience of the foster-adoption licensing process in the state of Wisconsin. To find out more, contact AdoptUsKids.org.}

So I know it looks like I went silent over here for the past month but I promise I’ve never put up so many blog posts in my life… they’ve just been on another site, a new site I’ve been building.

It launched two weeks ago and it’s called ShePosts.com. The tagline is “Curating buzzworthy social media news + gossip for your viewing pleasure” and it’s the first blog that tracks and reports about what’s happening throughout the mom blogosphere.

Not to toot my horn, but… if you haven’t visited ShePosts yet – please do. If you’re marketing to moms or are a blogger or are fascinated by the subculture, it’s the place for you. And if you don’t fit any of those qualifications but you like me – then you’ll probably like it.

I had initially planned to roll out a soft launch and then add on down the road but the response has completely exceeded my expectations. So, because I’m a business woman – I’m trying to capitalize on the buzz and push on to the next phase as quickly as possible.

Okay… enough about it.

Today baby Jude turned eleven freakin’ months old! He’s almost a YEAR. Gah.

I put together a little family update video, chock full of cute footage of my darling: