Esther Brady Crawford - faintstarlite

Well first off I wanted to answer Jayme’s question. Yes, they LOVE American movies – I think Titanic is the all-time best in their opinion. The song “My Heart Will Go On” is STILL played here… its pretty weird to be honest. Otherwise they’re so up-to-date on our movies/music. They know a lot about American pop culture – and the young people love it, and for the most part, they love Americans – they just hate our gov’ts foreign policies of course.

Yesterday I went to the Dead Sea. It was really crazy – and it BURNED so badly because I had a blister on my foot and its 20% salt.. ahhh. It was really beautiful. It was so strange to look across and realize the other side was Palestine/Israel. I kept thinking about all the ancient stories involving the Dead Sea and its area.. this part of the world has a very mystical feeling.

The night before last I didn’t fall asleep until after 7am. It was really nice though – I just listened to my fav worship cds all night and had lots of time to just reflect on things. I feel like it was really what I needed – alone time. One of the songs lyrics really stuck out to me and so I wrote them down and taped it up on my mirror. …

“If the whole wide world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you’re in a crowd but all alone
If you can’t stay here but you can’t go home
If you can’t answer all the why’s
‘Cause you’re too tired to reach that high
I want you to remember
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you; I’m where I’ve always been
Right by your side”

Today I tried to make lasagne for the family, but it totally turned out terrible. I was dying laughing sooo hard because they were all like “mmmm this is so good” just to make me feel good. They even took seconds even though I knew it was killing them to get it down. I felt like our roles were reversed.. lol .. I just couldn’t stop laughing. The bottom was burnt and so they went and got knives to try and cut through it and keep eating it! Words just don’t describe how funny it was. They knew I knew that they didn’t like it, so they kept trying not to giggle .. and at one point I was laughing so hard that I spewed my water everywhere .. which only made me laugh harder.

My mom, Nisreen, seems to be having a really hard time lately and I’m not quite sure what to say. She keeps talking about how much she dislikes being mom, and feels trapped with the kids around. She really doesn’t leave the house but maybe 2 times a week – seriously.. and there are only a few rooms in the house.. so I don’t blame her for feeling some resentment.. but I’m not sure how to make her feel better. I think the fact that I come and go so easily doesn’t help either, so I was glad to spend the day just with her and help out a bit more with the kids.

I took Lujain, the 6yr old, with me when I ran a few errands and it was so cute – she was soo excited and proud to be walking with me. She was acting like such a big girl, sometimes its amazing that shes only 6. She has more responsibilities than most teenagers in the states and just accepts them. Shes always helping out by cleaning, she knows about cooking.. and she is seen as an authority figure to the 2yr old and spanks her and everything when she gets out of line. Its a very different parenting approach here, I think in both good and potentially bad ways.

We only have another week or so left of Ahmeya Arabic and we begin our regular schedule with Fus-ha (Modern Standard Arabic). Monday we’re going to a refugee camp, which should be a really amazing thing to see. I’m not very knowledgable about what happens there ..but I’m sure I’ll be able to tell more about it after I go. Anyways, if anyone has any particular questions about life here that I’m not answering – just let me know. =)