Esther Brady Crawford - faintstarlite

Sorry I haven’t written for such a long time .. time has just been flying by. I can’t believe that we’re already halfway through Ramadan. Last week I had my first Arabic exam and did pretty well on it. We don’t get graded A-F like in the states – but I basically got about a B, but I was impressed I did that well since they make the tests really challenging. It was two pages of JUST Arabic .. even the directions were in Arabic! After only studying it for two months, thats a pretty scary thing to see, lol.

This weekend I went with four other girls down to Aqaba to take a break from Amman. It was really beautiful, Amazingly it has been raining off and on for the last three days, even one of the days in Aqaba it rained. It’s such a great location – its right where Egypt, Israel, Saudi and Jordan meet along the Red Sea. To look across and see the hotel that was blown up a couple of weeks ago was really crazy. It’s so easy to forget those things happen because it feels (and to a large extent is) so safe here.

Theres a big debate going on within our exchange group about this upcoming election. There are big election parties being thrown at two of the major hotels here in Amman – and several of us are going to the one put on by the U.S. Embassy. However, some people in our group are reallllly paranoid about it and feel like its the perfect target. I dunno though, its just like in the states where they issue all these very vague warnings about nearly every location (hotels, buses, taxis, touristy locations, malls, McDonalds, etc etc) that if you actually avoided all those places you’d never leave your house. I decided to go – 1) I’m interested in seeing the live coverage as the election results come in .. 2) There will be heavy security .. 3) Its free since I’m an American abroad ..4) If the Embassy is hosting it, they can’t really think its going to be a target.. yano?

Anyways, I’m also excited about going West at the Eid. At the end of Ramadan they have an extended holiday from school, which is the perfect opportunity to travel in the region – and its next weekend. I found out that the director of our program is going to be driving to Ramallah for Eid and is willing to take some of us.. so thats my plan – unless of course Arafat dies between now and then, in which case the situation might not warrant a trip to the city he lives in.

So one more crazy fact – apparently I have a VERY THICK accent! Who knew?!? I don’t really believe it …. but everyone says so. The people who know English here are constantly complaining that my accent is too strong and they can’t understand anything I’m saying. This completely goes against everything I think .. afterall I’ve lived my whole life on the West coast, where there isn’t an accent and where TV shows are produced – it just seems strange, but its true.. they don’t understand me at all.

Anyways.. the call to prayer & breaking of the fast is just now sounding so I need to go join Nisreen in the kitchen for dates and juice. =) B’bye

4 days of Ramadan down …

Part of me is enjoying the whole fasting thing – but another part is just wanting it to pleeasseee end. =) Nah really, it’s good for me. It’s definitely making me more disciplined and giving me lots of extra time with my host family.

I went to the embassy and voted today – which was a bit of an annoyance, but went fairly smoothly. It’s strange to walk into the embassy past tons of people waiting in lines to get in, and then through a big room full of people waiting to try and get visas, etc – which are nearly impossible to get these days. Since I’m a citizen I get to skip all that waiting and go straight to the American Services desk, which makes ya feel a bit guilty – but not bad enough to wait for hours along with the others.

Lines don’t really exist here actually. It’s like when driving, things like the lines on the road are just optional. You just kinda go up when you feel like it, despite whatever your number is.

I don’t think I’ve said much about drivers in this country, but I feel like its time now that its Ramadan (the craziest driving time of year). There is one rule on the road: whoever gets there first has the right away. You might think that it’d be really chaotic, but it works amazingly well. The police men just hold up little signs when they want to check your car or think you’re going too fast – so its really up to you to even stop for them.

The taxis are generally comfortable and fairly cheap – but you never know who you’re gonna get, and every 3rd or 4th taxi ride you can expect to talk about Bush and Iraq… everyone feels compelled to share their opinion since I’m an American.

The taxi I usually call late at night is Abu Firas. He’s the funniest guy. He has 10 kids, and works around 16hrs a day (which is fairly typical for cabbies) … I’ve had taxi drivers say they were gonna fall asleep they’d been driving so long – never something you want to tell a passenger. Anyways back to Abu Firas – 10 kids, and he always talks about how hes so glad to work so many hours so he can stay away from them all, lol. Actually he’s really just the sweetest man. The other day he invited me over for iftar cuz he was afraid I’d be eating alone, which I wasn’t, so I didn’t end up going – but sometime I’d like to go. Some of the other students have been to his house and met some of his kids and I’ve heard lots of good things.

I need to go get some sleep .. hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the beautiful fall season in the northwest =)

So today is the second day of Ramadan. I feel so priviledged to spend the whole month in a Muslim country experiencing this unique time of year. There really isn’t anything to compare it to in the states – its in its own category.  

Whether or not you’re a Muslim you’re not to be seen smoking, drinking (anything), or eating during daylight hours. Last night, being the first night, there was a strange kind of quietness throughout the whole city that is indescribable.

Before I came I had decided to try and do the fast with my host family, but I didn’t realize what it would mean to them. They were really shocked yesterday when I fasted , and when it came time for the breaking of the fast at sundown Nisreen kept saying how proud of me she was.

I didn’t think it would be that hard – and thankfully since its October and there isn’t a whole lot of daylight hours it’s not too bad. The toughest part is going to be not drinking any water in such a dry climate. There are a lot of exceptions for not fasting, like being pregnant, laborer, sick, traveling, etc – but you’re expected to make it up because its one of the 5 pillars that Muslims are required to do. My mom Nisreen explained that on Judgment Day you will be judged on your works – beginning with the pillars of Islam .. if your good works don’t override your bad works, then to hell you go. It was a good conversation because we got to talk about the law vs. grace and what the implications are of trying to obtain perfection in this life.

Anyways, back to Ramadan. Being the first day of the fast of course I end up at a brunch with the staff from the company here. I’m talking they had every good American breakfast food known to mankind that doesn’t exist in the Mid. East! Biscuits and gravy! Bacon! Pumpkin Pie!..the whole works.. but I consoled myself by bringing a piece of pie home, which I ate around 5am this morning (just before sunrise). My first attempt at pie that early, and let me tell you – it tastes just as good as I thought it would.

I feel like Ramadan is going to be good – I’ll be able to connect on a different level with the other people around me and in my family here. Its something I’m thinking about doing next year when I’m back on campus. I figure there are probably special clubs/events set up for the students who fast and it’d be a great way to meet them and practice Arabic, etc.

Bashufkum!

Ok so I’m warning you: this is going to be a sad post. It’s 1am and I’m deciding to post now which is never a good sign. Anyways, today I went to the Iraqi “waiting” aka refugee camp. If I had the words to adequately describe what it is like, you’d fall on your face in tears.

I don’t want to forget them. I don’t want it to just be a place I went to and wrote about .. if thats all it would be then I would erase the whole experience. To walk through the camp went against all my instincts .. being bombarded with suffering is painful on the deepest level. I want it to shake me up, to make me cry, to make me more grateful than I’ve ever been .. if seeing that doesn’t, then nothing will.

So tomorrow we’ll be driving over 3hrs east (towards the Iraqi border) to visit an Iraqi refugee camp out in the middle of the eastern desert. I suspect that this one will be quite a different experience from the 1948 Palestinian refugee camp that we visited a few weeks ago.

I’m so excited because I’ve finally made REAL Jordanian friends. I know a few times now I’ve said “yah! I have Jordanian friends” .. but this time its even cooler. Last week during our 30min break in the morning I had decided to try and ask to sit with some locals (which is challenging because there are like 100 international students to choose from). Its like a self-imposed segregation. Its really weird. I know on campuses in the states you often see the internationals all grouped together – well theres a reason! and I finally understand why … you just don’t feel capable or welcomed enough to get outta the comfort zone.

Anyways I did it .. not for the first time .. but this time it really paid off. I ended up meeting two girls: Maram and Eman – freshmen at the university – if I understand correctly (through the mix of Arabic/English) they’re studying to be teachers for the mentally challenged.

So I had talked with them and found them to be really cool – people I could def see myself being good friends with .. and then the break ended and we went our separate ways, without each others mobile #s. I’d been looking for them every day but had just about given up (the campus is like a mini version of Tokyo – its INSANELY crowded and its almost useless trying to find anyone).. when today I got a tap on my shoulder! They introduced me to their other friend and I sat with them all during break talking. They told me how they’d missed me and I explained that I had felt the same way. Wendy came over and I introduced her to the group .. and we all decided to meet for lunch.

Despite the fact that Wendy and I refused over and over .. they forced their way into buying us lunch (which I felt so terrible about – but was very important to them). We all sat together for an hour before having to return to class .. and I found out that Eman lives in the same section of town I do so she’s going to come for a visit soon. I invited them all to come to aftur next week sometime (breaking of the fast during Ramadan: which begins either Fri or Sat depending when the crescent moon is spotted).

I’m just really happy because I can see us all being close friends – especially since we have the same schedule and in the same building. We’re all going to meet for lunch tomorrow – which I figure will end up being a fairly regular occurance.

So basically once again “yay! I made more friends”