Sorry I haven’t written for such a long time .. time has just been flying by. I can’t believe that we’re already halfway through Ramadan. Last week I had my first Arabic exam and did pretty well on it. We don’t get graded A-F like in the states – but I basically got about a B, but I was impressed I did that well since they make the tests really challenging. It was two pages of JUST Arabic .. even the directions were in Arabic! After only studying it for two months, thats a pretty scary thing to see, lol.
This weekend I went with four other girls down to Aqaba to take a break from Amman. It was really beautiful, Amazingly it has been raining off and on for the last three days, even one of the days in Aqaba it rained. It’s such a great location – its right where Egypt, Israel, Saudi and Jordan meet along the Red Sea. To look across and see the hotel that was blown up a couple of weeks ago was really crazy. It’s so easy to forget those things happen because it feels (and to a large extent is) so safe here.
Theres a big debate going on within our exchange group about this upcoming election. There are big election parties being thrown at two of the major hotels here in Amman – and several of us are going to the one put on by the U.S. Embassy. However, some people in our group are reallllly paranoid about it and feel like its the perfect target. I dunno though, its just like in the states where they issue all these very vague warnings about nearly every location (hotels, buses, taxis, touristy locations, malls, McDonalds, etc etc) that if you actually avoided all those places you’d never leave your house. I decided to go – 1) I’m interested in seeing the live coverage as the election results come in .. 2) There will be heavy security .. 3) Its free since I’m an American abroad ..4) If the Embassy is hosting it, they can’t really think its going to be a target.. yano?
Anyways, I’m also excited about going West at the Eid. At the end of Ramadan they have an extended holiday from school, which is the perfect opportunity to travel in the region – and its next weekend. I found out that the director of our program is going to be driving to Ramallah for Eid and is willing to take some of us.. so thats my plan – unless of course Arafat dies between now and then, in which case the situation might not warrant a trip to the city he lives in.
So one more crazy fact – apparently I have a VERY THICK accent! Who knew?!? I don’t really believe it …. but everyone says so. The people who know English here are constantly complaining that my accent is too strong and they can’t understand anything I’m saying. This completely goes against everything I think .. afterall I’ve lived my whole life on the West coast, where there isn’t an accent and where TV shows are produced – it just seems strange, but its true.. they don’t understand me at all.
Anyways.. the call to prayer & breaking of the fast is just now sounding so I need to go join Nisreen in the kitchen for dates and juice. =) B’bye
4 days of Ramadan down …
Part of me is enjoying the whole fasting thing – but another part is just wanting it to pleeasseee end. =) Nah really, it’s good for me. It’s definitely making me more disciplined and giving me lots of extra time with my host family.
I went to the embassy and voted today – which was a bit of an annoyance, but went fairly smoothly. It’s strange to walk into the embassy past tons of people waiting in lines to get in, and then through a big room full of people waiting to try and get visas, etc – which are nearly impossible to get these days. Since I’m a citizen I get to skip all that waiting and go straight to the American Services desk, which makes ya feel a bit guilty – but not bad enough to wait for hours along with the others.
Lines don’t really exist here actually. It’s like when driving, things like the lines on the road are just optional. You just kinda go up when you feel like it, despite whatever your number is.
I don’t think I’ve said much about drivers in this country, but I feel like its time now that its Ramadan (the craziest driving time of year). There is one rule on the road: whoever gets there first has the right away. You might think that it’d be really chaotic, but it works amazingly well. The police men just hold up little signs when they want to check your car or think you’re going too fast – so its really up to you to even stop for them.
The taxis are generally comfortable and fairly cheap – but you never know who you’re gonna get, and every 3rd or 4th taxi ride you can expect to talk about Bush and Iraq… everyone feels compelled to share their opinion since I’m an American.
The taxi I usually call late at night is Abu Firas. He’s the funniest guy. He has 10 kids, and works around 16hrs a day (which is fairly typical for cabbies) … I’ve had taxi drivers say they were gonna fall asleep they’d been driving so long – never something you want to tell a passenger. Anyways back to Abu Firas – 10 kids, and he always talks about how hes so glad to work so many hours so he can stay away from them all, lol. Actually he’s really just the sweetest man. The other day he invited me over for iftar cuz he was afraid I’d be eating alone, which I wasn’t, so I didn’t end up going – but sometime I’d like to go. Some of the other students have been to his house and met some of his kids and I’ve heard lots of good things.
I need to go get some sleep .. hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the beautiful fall season in the northwest =)
So today is the second day of Ramadan. I feel so priviledged to spend the whole month in a Muslim country experiencing this unique time of year. There really isn’t anything to compare it to in the states – its in its own category. 
Whether or not you’re a Muslim you’re not to be seen smoking, drinking (anything), or eating during daylight hours. Last night, being the first night, there was a strange kind of quietness throughout the whole city that is indescribable.
Before I came I had decided to try and do the fast with my host family, but I didn’t realize what it would mean to them. They were really shocked yesterday when I fasted 
, and when it came time for the breaking of the fast at sundown Nisreen kept saying how proud of me she was.
I didn’t think it would be that hard – and thankfully since its October and there isn’t a whole lot of daylight hours it’s not too bad. The toughest part is going to be not drinking any water in such a dry climate. There are a lot of exceptions for not fasting, like being pregnant, laborer, sick, traveling, etc – but you’re expected to make it up because its one of the 5 pillars that Muslims are required to do. My mom Nisreen explained that on Judgment Day you will be judged on your works – beginning with the pillars of Islam .. if your good works don’t override your bad works, then to hell you go. It was a good conversation because we got to talk about the law vs. grace and what the implications are of trying to obtain perfection in this life. 
Anyways, back to Ramadan. Being the first day of the fast of course I end up at a brunch with the staff from the company here. I’m talking they had every good American breakfast food known to mankind that doesn’t exist in the Mid. East! Biscuits and gravy! Bacon! Pumpkin Pie!..the whole works.. but I consoled myself by bringing a piece of pie home, which I ate around 5am this morning (just before sunrise). My first attempt at pie that early, and let me tell you – it tastes just as good as I thought it would. 
I feel like Ramadan is going to be good – I’ll be able to connect on a different level with the other people around me and in my family here. Its something I’m thinking about doing next year when I’m back on campus. I figure there are probably special clubs/events set up for the students who fast and it’d be a great way to meet them and practice Arabic, etc.
Bashufkum!
Ok so I’m warning you: this is going to be a sad post. It’s 1am and I’m deciding to post now which is never a good sign. Anyways, today I went to the Iraqi “waiting” aka refugee camp. If I had the words to adequately describe what it is like, you’d fall on your face in tears.
I really didn’t know what to expect when getting there – but it turned out to be pretty much what you’d think of when someone says “refugee camp” – UN tents with lots of people living in impoverished conditions. It just doesn’t sink in though until you’re standing there.
We arrived and were given a brief introduction, including the “no talking to refugees” rule – which made me a bit suspicious that maybe the situation wouldn’t be very friendly .. and at times it wasn’t.
I don’t blame them though .. I mean we are Americans .. the war brought by America is the very reason they’re there. It’s like us saying “sorry about bombing your house … but hey, nice tent”.
I duno, maybe I’m growing cynical – but really .. its tiresome seeing/hearing the destruction and ruin of peoples lives when you’re so used to being sheltered from that element of life.
Anyways – back to the story. We arrived and were debriefed and had gone no more than 50 steps into the camp when a group of guys (prob in their 30s) came up to us, dragging their children (ages 4-9yrs) along behind them. The father of the kids had sewn his mouth shut, so he only made gestures. But essentially he wanted us to know that the conditions were terrible and that he hated to be there – he had sewn his lips together so he could not speak or eat – that was his way of putting pressure on UNHCR to process his documents so as to gain citizenship somewhere. Also, to show his anger with the facilities he proceeded to pull down his son’s pants and display his badly burned legs. The tents are flamable and his son was caught in a fire.
By this time I had already started to cry .. to see this man unable to do anything but starve himself in an attempt to be heard .. Then explained the reason he had fled Iraq – two of his children had been killed and realized the chances were likely that he would lose them all if he didn’t leave.
The next man to approach us explained that his 8mths pregnant wife was also starving herself in protest to the length of processing and listed to us the family members killed in the last year.
While this was going on there was either one or two men screaming (and I mean the worst cries ever) to us from the top of a tent “go away, why come here just to look at us” .. and then on to “why 1 year? why? why have I been here for 1 year? please tell me why!”
I can’t express the pain/sadness/helplessness/dispair that is felt within the camp. They are innocent, yet perpetually punished.
I should probably explain why the man was yelling about being there one year. The camp was started just before the war with Iraq since they knew refugees would flee. Once a person or family arrives they begin being processed. The goal is to get them out of the camp (which is what they want) and to be able to get a job and live a normal life in the host country (Jordan), or a 3rd country if their country is still unsafe, as is clearly the case in Iraq.
The two large groups in this particular camp were Kurds and Palestinians who had been living in Iraq. Third countries, like Swedan, Australia, etc. had begun accepting many Kurdish families because of apparent connections they had – but because of the situation in Palestine, the Palestinians are basically in a no-win situation. They have no where to go and they can’t leave unless they return to Iraq – where they’ll likely be killed.. and 3rd party countries aren’t accepting them for various political reasons.
Imagine living inside a fenced piece of land in the middle of the harsh desert in a tent. Its very hot in the summer and very cold in the winter. Plus, several of them suffer from post-traumatic syndrome from things they saw in Iraq. It’s just a mess. They can’t leave without an armed guard – and theres really no where to go anyways. They have a school for K-4th grade and thats it. So their kids aren’t even getting an education. The UNHCR is trying really hard to work things out and find ways to improve conditions, but they have limited resources too – so in essence, their hands are tied.
I should stop babbling because I could go on for days about this.. I can honestly say that going there impacted me in a way I never expected. When I came home and was watching TV I got so sick to my stomach. Oprah was on (yes, Oprah) and she was in Celine Dion’s house and all that .. it just disgusted me .. to go from seeing people who barely survive and who just want to live in safety and have a normal life .. to seeing the rich elite enjoying their butler pouring cups of tea for them. Its just so wrong on so many levels.
The most frustrating part is how far removed we are from what happens here. Its like we see images of Iraq on TV, but it may as well be a videogame because its not real to us – they aren’t people – they aren’t like us .. because if we saw them that way then we would be angry and make demands for improvements. Instead, bureaucracy rules .. and the innocent are punished. We only hear when U.S. soldiers die – which I believe is sad .. but the reality is that many, many more Iraqis die every day – did you know 11 were shot down just yesterday?
I don’t really know how to end this post .. I feel angry at the way things are in the world. One last thing before I go that I was thinking about .. yano it talks about how Jesus went and talked to the lowest – the prostitutes, the tax collectors, the lepers. If he would’ve come at this time I think he would be hanging out with refugees. He would be comforting the widows, playing with the kids in the dirt, and healing the scars inside/out of those beautiful people.
I don’t want to forget them. I don’t want it to just be a place I went to and wrote about .. if thats all it would be then I would erase the whole experience. To walk through the camp went against all my instincts .. being bombarded with suffering is painful on the deepest level. I want it to shake me up, to make me cry, to make me more grateful than I’ve ever been .. if seeing that doesn’t, then nothing will.
So tomorrow we’ll be driving over 3hrs east (towards the Iraqi border) to visit an Iraqi refugee camp out in the middle of the eastern desert. I suspect that this one will be quite a different experience from the 1948 Palestinian refugee camp that we visited a few weeks ago.
I’m so excited because I’ve finally made REAL Jordanian friends. I know a few times now I’ve said “yah! I have Jordanian friends” .. but this time its even cooler. Last week during our 30min break in the morning I had decided to try and ask to sit with some locals (which is challenging because there are like 100 international students to choose from). Its like a self-imposed segregation. Its really weird. I know on campuses in the states you often see the internationals all grouped together – well theres a reason! and I finally understand why … you just don’t feel capable or welcomed enough to get outta the comfort zone.
Anyways I did it .. not for the first time .. but this time it really paid off. I ended up meeting two girls: Maram and Eman – freshmen at the university – if I understand correctly (through the mix of Arabic/English) they’re studying to be teachers for the mentally challenged.
So I had talked with them and found them to be really cool – people I could def see myself being good friends with .. and then the break ended and we went our separate ways, without each others mobile #s. I’d been looking for them every day but had just about given up (the campus is like a mini version of Tokyo – its INSANELY crowded and its almost useless trying to find anyone).. when today I got a tap on my shoulder! They introduced me to their other friend and I sat with them all during break talking. They told me how they’d missed me and I explained that I had felt the same way. Wendy came over and I introduced her to the group .. and we all decided to meet for lunch.
Despite the fact that Wendy and I refused over and over .. they forced their way into buying us lunch (which I felt so terrible about – but was very important to them). We all sat together for an hour before having to return to class .. and I found out that Eman lives in the same section of town I do so she’s going to come for a visit soon. I invited them all to come to aftur next week sometime (breaking of the fast during Ramadan: which begins either Fri or Sat depending when the crescent moon is spotted).
I’m just really happy because I can see us all being close friends – especially since we have the same schedule and in the same building. We’re all going to meet for lunch tomorrow – which I figure will end up being a fairly regular occurance.
So basically once again “yay! I made more friends”
Wow I can’t believe its been almost a week since I last blogged. Whats gotten into me? Anyways .. I’ve been insanely busy with school – the Arabic for 4hrs a day is really a doozer. Plus I have an hour and a half class afterwards – making my time at school from 9am-3:30pm Sun through Thurs. *sigh* …
I was really nervous about going to a salon here and getting my hair done. Since my hair is a slightly different texture I didn’t know what to expect. It’s funny too because at the salons here there are like two guys for every station – theres always one guy who is holding the hair while the other one washes it, or drys it – or just anything. So it takes literally like 4-8 guys to finish an entire stay. I was trying to ask for a touch-up to my highlights, but they were so excited to work with my hair that they kept trying to convince me of radical styles – all of which I emphatically refused (such as the pink stripes, Paris Hilton blond, and crazy cuts among few of the choices).
They used some sort of chemical that I promise is not allowed in the states. After a few minutes of it being on my hair I began to feel intense heat radiating from the chemical reactions. It took only 20 or so minutes to process – which it usually requires over an hour – at least half of that time spent under a dryer at Campus Cuts. So I was reallllly nervous when they started rinsing me out – I figured I’d be some terrible shade of orange. Amazingly it turned out really nice! A bit lighter than I had hoped – but still, cute. And they did a really good job on my hair cut too.
Anyways I’m being motioned to get off the computer so I must go … sorry I only got to talk about my salon experience … I’ll add more later. =) See ya.
