Happy Thanksgiving!! I know its only 1am on Thanksgiving morning so everyone is probably still asleep there.. by the time you get up and dressed our thanksgiving will be ending though.  

It doesn’t really feel like Thanksgiving, which is okay.. it will once we all get together over at Keith  & Christi’s … like 4 families, plus all the single folks are going over there for a huge turkey feast – and this year they were able to get turkeys into Amman on time for the actual day! It’s awesome.

Yesterday I was supposed to make a Thanksgiving meal for my host family, but it didn’t happen. I feel like I should vent about this to get over it .. yesterday my ATM card refused to work .. and without any money its hard to get anywhere… so I was getting pretty upset. My friend Carrie was with me and owed me some money so we were able to put the groceries on her credit card and it worked out alright. It was a huge fiasco trying to get all the ingredients.. and finally after an hour/half I was on my way home with 5 bags of groceries for this meal. I got up to the second floor where our apt door is and I could already smell that they were cooking something inside. When I walked in I realized that Zuhair’s (my host dad) family had come over. Nisreen had decided to cook dinner for them. I felt really hurt.. mostly because I knew she wasn’t telling me the whole truth. Granted, she didn’t know that they were coming over.. she said she made dinner because they didn’t want to stay long. Well first off, Arabs ALWAYS want to stay long.. and secondly, they rarely come over because they live in a village almost 2hrs away, so clearly they’d be there til very late.

I abandoned my groceries and Thanksgiving plans feeling pretty sad about the whole thing. I had been so happy to share something from my culture with them.. and the real reason it didn’t happen was cuz she didn’t know if they’d like the food. We didn’t end up eating for 2-3hrs, and of course they stayed until late.. and I had spent the last of my money & a lot of time/energy for nothing.

Today my ATM card is still not working – so something has to happen cuz I’m leaving for Germany tonight …its been a pretty frustrating ordeal. Not having access to my money is a really dispairing feeling.. like being lost without a way home. I know it’ll work out, but since the banks in the states are closed for the holiday it probably won’t get fixed until sometime next week when I get back to Jordan. *sigh* Oh well…

Anyways I really am so excited about Thanksgiving… I think it’ll help to just forget about the last few stressful situations which is good.

Sorry for my website not working – my credit card expired and I’m still waiting to recieve my new card… it’s a whole nother fiasco in and of itself… anyways as soon as I get it my website will be back up & with all new photos, etc. =)

One last thing: a few days ago I went to distribute some of my family’s zakat (the 2.5% Muslims are required to give) to the poor people in their family. I went to a far-removed cousins house a few miles away from our own.. The husband had died over a year ago leaving his wife and five children with basically nothing. The oldest boy (14 or 15yrs old) works as much as he can after school trying to help support their family. They live in a TINY.. and I mean very very tiny apartment. They have one bedroom and also use the family room as a bedroom.. and the living room comfortably only seats maybe 5 or 6 people its so small. It was the poorest family I’ve ever seen… and sitting there in the plastic lawn chair they use as furniture I realized how many things I have to be thankful for.. and what a responsibility I have to bless those around me who don’t have what I have. What good are expensive clothes, cars, etc .. if people next door can’t feed their children? I clearly heard a voice inside say, “she represents all the widow you’re to love” .. thats what we’re all called to do – do we truly love her? I don’t think I do.. you know what one of my first reactions when I sat down was? “Man this furniture is so dirty, I hope this stuff doesn’t get all over my jacket.” As soon as I thought that I felt so ashamed.. I don’t want to be like that ever. I’m changing in so many ways here – I want to be like clay .. I’m not always, but I keep praying to be made into someone less like me and more like the One who was so selfless, in life and in death. Its really been an eye-opening experience – sometimes I feel like life here forces me to see myself .. the real me… the greedy, selfish me.. and once I’m confronted with such an ugly image it pushes me to really change.

 I hope everyone has a fabulous Thanksgiving with lots of turkey, stuffing, etc…. Remember to be truly thankful – that means demonstrating it to those around you. I love you all and miss you in a special way today, but am so happy I’m here.. despite the chaos I sometimes encounter.. its worth it all. 

Happy Holidays!!