It’s all about your reputation…
Tonight I went over to some friends’ house to play Risk. At around midnight, after hours of playing I mentioned I was gonna go catch a taxi to come home, and Jack was like, “No you can’t do that, it’ll ruin your reputation to arrive so late.” He insisted that he and his wife should drive me home in order to show the neighbors who I was with tonight.
This is something that I’m constantly working on understanding, and thankfully, I’m getting better at it, despite my slip up this evening.
People in the states don’t tend to watch their neighbors with any regularity, how can you when you often don’t even know their names? People watching is practically an official passtime in this region of the world. It is so important to watch everything you do because others are paying very close attention, almost to the point of spying.
As a non-Arab woman who lives with other girls, I’m automatically viewed suspiciously and everything I do needs to be done with the utmost of integrity, particularly in the way things look from the outside.
Interestingly enough, looks are often more important than the substance. Honor crimes are a direct result of this type of policy. There must always remain a surface of togetherness. In fact, there is always a room in homes that are never used and are specifically for guests. At any time you could stop by someones house, and even if it is a disaster, it will appear perfectly together because they will usher you directly into the guest room where you’ll never be able to see the messy house.
Anyways, I just thought that was an interesting thing to take note of tonight.
4 Responses to “Saturday January 15, 2005”
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Twitter: EstherCrawford
- @jeffreine that bridge gives me chills
- @jeffreine yep! and watched tv ... I'm pretty sure every night should end like that
- @soccerhaus it was pretty hilarious... then another couple came in and started making out too.. it never ended
January 16th, 2005 at 6:01 pm
it is a confusing balance between having a pure heart, being yourself and not offending others. paul said that he would go to any length to keep the peace-in the sense that others’ faith and purity is more important than personal freedom. but it is all a choice-not a list of regulations. and in that way, you can exert your personal freedom by abstaining from things that would offend family and isolate those you want to invite into the family. gosh i miss you.
January 16th, 2005 at 3:04 pm
Everything’s melting here now. Kathy put off driving up to Seattle today until tomorrow just to make sure she’ll be okay. We’ll be in the Pineapple Express warm rain pattern in a day or two. Have you been to Petra yet? Don’t think I have a Coke Can from Jordan yet. :-)
January 15th, 2005 at 10:59 pm
That is a really good blurb. i think you have some great writing-communication gifts.
January 15th, 2005 at 7:42 pm
Your cross-cultural experiences are quite interesting. It must be difficult to adjust to “being on display” so often. We tend to be rather private people in the US, (although quite public as long as there is some anonymity, such as blogging!) Even our “personal space” is taken for granted here in this country. I have talked with others who have gone on missions trips, and one of the things they mentioned was how close people stand next to you, or even complete strangers reaching out to touch your hair, your arm, etc. That would surely take some getting used to! May God bless you in all you do.