“And I’ll take with me the memories
To be the sunshine after the rain
It’s so hard .. to say goodbye .. to yesterday.”
Thank you Boyz II Men for capturing my feelings this afternoon as I write this blog. I didn’t realize how much I’ve really grown to care for Chivon until there she was saying goodbye, on her way back to America. Since being here I’ve realized how often one has to say “bye” when you’re living overseas. People are always leaving, and new ones always arriving – its quite a revolving door.
Generally speaking, back home the only times I had to really say my goodbyes would be during holiday seasons when special guests arrive/depart, and at the end of the school year when everyone goes their separate ways for the summer. They’re rarely permanent-I might never see you again-goodbyes though .. and those are the worst kinds and I’ve already made at least 20 of those in the last month.
I already dread leaving. I feel like this is my home, and these are my people. How do you say goodbye to that?
It’s this strange dichotomy because I sincerely and sorely miss people in the states… and yet I just wish that they could all be transplanted here.
As the taxi I was in drove further away from Chivon standing there with all her bags, I wanted to turn it around and demand that she couldn’t leave me – it took five months to get this close, and now who will I hang out with? Who else would be crazy enough to sleep at the Syrian border with me?
I wanted to yell, “I don’t want have to try and make another friend to replace you!” It’s tiring. Life feels so transitional.
It seriously impresses me how well adapted people become to this lifestyle. I see people who’ve worked here for 20yrs, with kids who constantly have to readjust their lives & friends. I swear they must have recieved a special amount of grace to cope with the constant fluxuations taking place around them. I pray that it gets easier.
I want to be ready and happy to go by the time its my turn.. until then, I’m just grateful that this is where I’m at .. and I know I’ll make more friends, and although no one will replace Chivon, we’ll keep in touch, and now I have an excuse to go to Chicago. By the time I leave I have a feeling I’ll have friends scattered all across the states, and the world.
eaglewind: Life is full of transition and change (a seminar we teach for missionaries). For what it’s worth, you DO have a friend Who will never leave you or forsake you (Heb. 13:5).5 years ago
TheSaltnLight: Boyz2Men rock…they don’t make them like they used to! hehe =)
I know what you mean it can definitly be emotionally draining! I think having a taste of what workers go through really helps me know how to pray for them, and this is one of the practical ways I can add to the list!
You know you dont have to say goodbye to me! =) YOu can just live with me forever and follow me around for the rest of your life! =) You would be quite blessed! haha5 years ago
Oddbeani:
*random*
I saw the article in the Barometer…it was really nice.
5 years ago
walkalongside:
I agree with each comment so far. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say, or hard to hear what another says to you as you are leaving. I really liked what the hospital chaplain said to me when I was leaving the little hospital in little Rocky Ford, CO. “We are glad we got to know you this long.” It was so freeing. None of this “Why do you want to leave us?”, “Are you sure this is God’s will?”…. all odd ways to say we liked having you here and hate to see you go. The chaplain’s comment expressed he/they would miss me and yet know it was God’s will for me to go. Reason for leaving after one short year with them: I was getting married!! and moving to Boulder, CO, where Glen lived. :)
5 years ago
strawberry14: Welcome to my world of internationals…a revolving door. I just try to live in the moment and enjoy all the people in my life for however long they’ll be here, realizing it won’t be forever even at the beginning. Some friends are meant for a lifetime, but most are for the moment. There’s value in each. I think it’s been hard to learn over the years that I can’t hold on to every person I make friends with, so enjoy the season, then let it go and not feel guilty that I’m not able to maintain every friendship.5 years ago
balticblond: Something we all can relate to.5 years ago
basementdweller: Goodbyes are really painful, it’s even more painful when there is no guarantee that you’ll see the person again. But when you do, it is so rewarding…it touches the deepest parts of the soul…and worth every moment of pain and separation. It’s so worth it to keep in touch and take the time to visit.5 years ago