I know that reverse-culture shock is expected.. but what does it look like? I wonder, am I experiencing it?
It’s been a bit bizarre since I first landed. I came in a week earlier than I was supposed to and surprised everyone. My friend Sarah picked me up and whisked me over to my mom’s house where I rang the doorbell, and nearly gave her a heart attack – she thought maybe she was seeing a vision.
And after about 20mins I ran over to Russ & Beth’s house where an end-of-year XA bbq was taking place… although it wasn’t really for that .. it was for me to surprise everyone. I think Beth was the most shocked … it took her a few minutes…. because I dyed my hair…. I’ll get pictures up soon. While I was in Jordan I went and dyed it dark again.
My second day I spent with my Dad.. which was sooo nice, although he seems very skinny, and not doing as well as I’d hoped.
Then I spent the entire next day trying to figure out my class schedule and registering for classes, etc. My mom was babysitting up in Salem, so I was left alone in the house.. and decided at one point to turn the TV on. Now, we had Arab Sat and we got a lot of American programming.. yet when I flipped it to MTV.. I was really shocked.
They had this show called Date My Mom.. where these guys my age went out on dates with these moms and then at the end picked one and got to then go on a date with the daughter. Bizarre really. There were sexual innuendos every 3-5 seconds. And although we had American shows, they were edited for sexual content.. so seeing just HOW BLATANT sex was being sold.. I was just amazed, and disgusted… actually I still am.
The next day my friend Karla came up and stayed the night… and it was really wonderful just to spend time with her and feel normal.
Since I don’t have a car and my mom was out of town… I was pretty much stranded out in south town… and I realized just how dependent on cars we all are.. I attempted to call a taxi because I wanted to go get groceries.. and it was $3.00 for the initial fee, and $1.75/mile…. seriously, who can afford that?!?
And now I’ve been in Bellingham (n. of Seattle) since Saturday for SICM and have a couple of days left. It’s interesting because today I had a chance to talk with some of the new people I met while here and without any prompting they began to comment on my style and attitude, and stuff. They were like, “We thought you were soo serious, and really really deep the first couple of days.” Well, they still think I’m deep… whatever that means… but I realize a little more each day, that I have changed a lot… and that it’s difficult to know exactly how to act, or what people want to hear about. They ask “How was Jordan?” and what they really want me togive a one sentence, it was great answer.. and then move on.
I continually have to stop myself from saying things in Arabic.. I really want to speak it, but know that it’s pointless… which gives me a sad feeling, because it’s so important to me.
Listening to people talk, and having conversations, I realize that even less people know about the Mid. East than I had hoped. It really is only thought of as a desert with scary terrorists.. and it’s hard for me to even know where to begin when someone thinks that.
I’m excited to go back home.. I really want to spend more time with my family.. and I have class that’ll begin on Monday.
Things are going well.. but I do miss Jordan… I miss the people mostly… people who understand my political ramblings, and laugh when I speak Arabic in a southern drawl, and get me. I know that it just takes time… and my friends here are great.. they love me and support me… it’s just difficult to have to say goodbye to my other world, and enter into this one.. one full of decadence, and endulgence… and apathy.. and ignorance.
I don’t want to bash America.. it’s a great place… but I’ve never seen our arrogance as clearly as I see it today.
I have a hope that things can change… but it will take time.. and I just have to be okay with that.
9 Responses to “Thursday June 23, 2005”
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Twitter: EstherCrawford
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June 27th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
All people deserve very good life time and loan or short term loan will make it better. Because freedom is grounded on money state.
July 8th, 2005 at 11:29 pm
i don’t want to be arrogant, indulgent, apathetic or arrogant. your insight and input is invaluable. nobody wants to be like that. done in the right attitude, you can be a tool in God’s hand to help us see ourselves. i would be grateful. i give you permission.
June 28th, 2005 at 12:41 am
Esther! Hey!I feel like I know you so well…. I’ve read your Xanga site ever since I got hired on at the National XA office. Crystal thinks the world of you and talks about you all the time. Anyway, I have the opportunity to go to Pakistan and would love to e-mail you and just get your thoughts on some things….Also, know that I’m praying for you as you adjust back into this culture. Anyway, I’d love to talk to you…. I feel like I already know you and your heart….you are such a beautiful girl inside and out. My e-mail is BRichards@ag.org. Holla at me sometime when you get a chance….
Keep it real-
Bethie J.
June 28th, 2005 at 12:25 am
sounds like another book project! wow, this keeps coming up everytime i read your blog. it’s a compliment! make sure you’re writing or recording your thoughts as you debrief. i would LOVE to read something like this to learn about where you were and that culture, our culture, and the transition of it all. and i think a lot of other people would too, especially with your writing style. blessings!
June 26th, 2005 at 4:23 pm
I’m sure it was an experience to you. Maybe even more so to see the vanities of life, some we tend to hold on to, and some that are all around us. It was hard for myself to leave the Dom. Republic, but you may be back in Jordan sometime. Lord only knows and we’re only here for a while.
I got to eat lunch with a woman from Iran today, she speaks english and farsi, so of course I was just plugging away with questions of “how do you say….”. It was cool.
In Christ, Mike
June 24th, 2005 at 7:07 pm
Glad you are home safely. Adjustments for sure. I appreciate your patience, and yet honesty in the struggle with others’ lack of understanding, arrogance, etc. I can see your carefulness in sharing what is really on your heart. There has been a saying, “Share, check, share.” Sounds like you are putting a ‘careful discerning’ before the first share. :)
June 24th, 2005 at 3:35 pm
What you say is so true. You have a fantastic story to tell, and many would rather move on to talk about themselves. It is like a missionary coming home after 4 years and having a “10 minute window” on Sunday morning to “tell their story!” Anyway, great thoughts!
June 24th, 2005 at 12:32 pm
I just wanted to say hello and thank you for your encouragement. I also wanted to let you know what inspiration I find from reading your blogs. I have enrolled to take Arabic in this upcoming fall semester and am looking forward to learning more about a place that I had previously written off as … well … just written off. Your thoughts on American arrogance and lack of gratitude for the things we appreciate and take advantage of every day is something I empathize with.
Well, glad to hear your trip home went off well and that you received a warm welcoming. And remember, things can change and will … Jesus was revolutionary in his time … still is, and He lives and walks in us every day, seeking to make us His revolutionaries in the world today. Praise Him!
much Love.
June 23rd, 2005 at 4:17 pm
Your desire to speak Arabic sounds pretty familiar!! You’ll probably even want to use it when you hear someone trying to figure out English words for their foreign language… I found (still do!!) myself doing that after being in Nicaragua for five months a few years ago, only Spanish. And you probably miss the simplicity of life as it was over there!!
You are SOOO motivated to be starting classes already. That ought to be a HUGE culture shock!!