Editor’s Addition: This is all quite interesting to read different perspectives. And please, keep responding! I just have a “special access” pass to my blog and wanted to add this…. =)
I didn’t mean to get so bogged down in the fact that women wear clothes to impress men, although of course they do, but I think most people recognize that fact. I meant that more as an example of the over-arching male perspective we live our lives seeing through.
Take virutally all of human history – we know it all through male eyes… very little is known about women’s lives/ideas/thoughts because they weren’t the ones writing history. And a man writing about women’s lives is definitely not the same, particularly when the men writing saw women as a species between animals and men, as the Greeks did.
I do think women are oppressed – not because our clothing is designed for men’s pleasure (I think that’s just a symptom)… the real problem is that we are second-class citizens around the entire world.
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In class on Friday my professor said, “Women look at themselves through men’s eyes,” and that simple comment has resulted in an epiphany of sorts for me.
My first thought was – women’s clothing. I don’t know any girl who dresses for herself. Obviously clothing manufacturers are not attempting to create clothes that are the most comfortable, they are attempting to accentuate features that men are attracted to. If women weren’t trying to impress men then they wouldn’t wear ridiculously uncomfortable items.
Everything from our footwear, to our bras & panties are designed for men.
We (as women) have so deeply internalized the male perspective that we don’t even realize it. When I stand naked in the mirror I don’t see Esther - seriously, I don’t. I see my imperfections. I know all the typical features I should/shouldn’t have that would be attractive to guys, and that’s what I judge myself up against.
And I do the same to other women. I see them through male eyes. I am trained to notice breasts, waists, thighs – and have much higher standards for women than for men. If a guy is overweight I am much, much more forgiving. Even popular sitcoms and movies portray beautiful women in relationships with average, to ugly, men.. but almost never, ever the other way around.
I then started to realize that this isn’t just an American problem – the same goes for every culture and country I have been in. Women in the Middle East also dress solely for men – it just so happens that their men want to see something different than our men. They like the control factor of having women covered – it’s so that husbands have a “special access” pass of sorts over their wives, whereas European/American men like to “show off” their women.
It seems Westerners in general are so quick to point the finger towards “Eastern” women and say “Ha, look how oppressed those women are”.. and yet we don’t even see our own problems, and just how similar they are.
I think that’s why the genital mutation practices of some North African countries has gotten so much press – it is horrific, and makes us think we have figured something out that “they” haven’t. But really – women here mutiliate themselves too – we just give them fancier names like breast augmentation, lyposuction, bulimia, etc.
Anyways.. I don’t have time to write all I want to about this, so I’m sure I’ll revisit this topic soon… I’m interested to hear what other people think about this.
KirbysWyfe:
Don’t have time to address this one fully right now, though lately I’ve been thinking of venting about it on my own xanga. Don’t have time to read / absorb ALL the comments you’ve gotten, either — but I did read Nick’s, and I have to say he’s right on.
I don’t think it’s a gender thing, it’s a sin nature thing. Are we trying to please God or man (< as in, mankind)?
4 years ago
turabiangirl: I have thought about this issue quite a lot. In one sense, I agree with Nick in that part of our orientation towards pleasing the opposite gender is innate (and OK) at least to a degree. But in the sense that I think you were describing, I think it is a problem. I notice the problems a lot with women in leadership and ministry, and the expectations they have of themselves and the expectations that are placed upon them. I wrote a paper once in which I tried to understand these issues and redefine what a woman in ministry could look like if she was not confined to the more aggressive male prototype of leadership. I don’t know if it was good, but I think it was interesting at least, on a conceptual level. hah.
In my personal life, I spent many years trying to think like men without really realizing what I was doing. In fact, I even got my M.Div, in part because I wanted to prove that I was “woman enough” to make it in a male-dominated field. I have only recently been able to admit that that was part of my motivation, and in that, I have begun embracing my true self, which is so stereotypically female it makes me blush: intuitive, relational, not type A…etc. Anyway. It’s late and I don’t feel like I”m making sense, but I just wanted to say I enjoyed your post. :-)4 years ago
runningnoodle:
women are awesome. we have the ability to emphathise tot he pioint of tears and make a pb&j all at the same time. but alas i need to get to bed for i work intheam. your name suits you well ESTHER.
4 years ago
runningnoodle:
did you stand up and vehemently speak your mind to this professor? was this prof a male ? if so, he should know that nothing is ever black and white with women. we dress to impress, imprress ourselves…and everyone around us. what is more great ffeling than being told you look great on any given day. however i know we can look great without the dictators of the fashion world. some of my fav designers designed for the likes of hepburn’s kate and audrey. calssic. and no one would deny they are beauties.
all that ramblings along with everyone else to say WELL DONE AND THANK YOU FOR BEING A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!
4 years ago
PimpMoShaun: Right on, I think I’m going to subscribe to your site because I like how you think and your thoughts don’t cost me any money. lol4 years ago
monicateresa: What class are you taking? This sounds exactly like the type of discussion I had in my Women, Theater, & Society class. It’s very intersting that women can’t even see themselves except through the ‘male gaze’. Sad really! It’s also interesting to look at art and see what was considering beautiful for women progress (or regress) such as small breasts with a little belly in Medieval Europe. Or why do so many nude paintings of women fail to paint body hair of any type? It’s all very interesting.4 years ago
PimpMoShaun:
What school do you go to? Did they teach you this? Look out men this lady is a killer. Men are frightened of women that have opinions. I bet you have plenty which is good. I don’t know you but its all good I understand where your coming from. You should be a writer or something.
4 years ago