The last 24 hours have been a rollercoaster emotionally. I got a call at 8am yesterday from my oldest sister Donna that my Dad had taken a drastic turn for the worse that evening. About an hour later I met up with the rest of my siblings at his house where we spent the day sitting with him, talking for the few minutes he was awake, and just leaning on each other for support. 

We all thought he’d pass away yesterday, and although he didn’t, he was able to tell us that it’s okay if we weren’t there when he did – not to feel guilty because he wasn’t worried. He told us he loved us, and he loved Jesus and that he’s talked to Jesus and everything is okay now.. and that he was content, and that our lives would go on after he is gone, and that he will see us again. And I believe him, which has given me a lot of peace in the midst of this ugly storm.

Yesterday I got time alone to talk to just my Dad and God.. and quietly sang him songs and quoted verses as I stroked his tiny arm. I didn’t know how much I had needed that time with him..

So I don’t know what today holds.. but I know my Dad’s time left can be counted in hours and not days or weeks. I’ve prepared myself as much as I can – however little I guess that is.. I know now he’s ready to go, and like he said yesterday, “Now it’s just between me and Jesus.”

I miss him already.