Esther Brady Crawford - faintstarlite

Divorcing Friends

I have thought twice about posting this – and yet – here it is:

In any given year, or season of life we have a particular set of friends – often with one or two best friends. Most of the time our friendships evolve and change as individuals move around geographically, emotionally, or psychologically. There are undoubtedly natural changes that will occur resulting in friendships being undone. But what about those unnatural splits? The decision one, or both people may make to withdraw their affection from a relationship. It is usually painful, and may center around a specific event or situation where trust was broken.

I keep thinking of Jesus’s example. He was betrayed time and again by those he considered his closest friends. Even Peter who was in the inner-circle denied Jesus at the most crucial hour of his life. Yet he forgave him. I mean – really, truly forgave. The reason I know this is because he restored the broken relationship. After forgiving Peter he called him back into a place of intimacy.

I find it difficult to receive forgiveness, and even more difficult to give – yet both are required of me. The most hurtful things have been said to me by family members, and yet I’ve managed to forgive them. If we wouldn’t divorce ourselves from our family, why do we divorce ourselves from our friends?

When we say we love each other is there an unwritten prenuptial agreement? Perhaps it reads: “I will love you and be your friend as long as everything goes smoothly”.

God, in his infinite knowledge about me as a flawed woman, has chosen time and again to forgive me – knowing I will make even more mistakes. I am humbled by this realization.

I know I have rationalized grudges and bitterness before – it is so easy to do.

If when we think about, or see a person – and what we see is their offence – we have not forgiven them, and we are not seeing them the way Christ sees them. I can’t imagine that anyone would want to be my friend if all they remembered was my worst mistakes.

I’m sure there are friends out there who by now I’ve offended – and for that I’m truly sorry. But all morning I have felt like this needed to be said and it wouldn’t go away – so there it is.

Today I pray for the restoration of broken friendships in my life, and in the lives of my friends.

  Update on the iPod crisis:
I spent 2.5 hours with an Apple rep who attempted to resuscitate it, with no luck. Fortunately it is still under warranty and supposedly if I send it in they will give me another one at only the cost of shipping. We’ll see what happens. I’ll keep you all informed as things develop…
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Eulogy:

U2 iPod.. you served me well these past 3 1/2 months. I will miss the way you would light up my pillow at night as I carefully chose what to go to sleep with each night. You were faithful to me – I never worried about you leaving me.. and yet you did. *choking back sob* You ..you’ve gone.. to a better place no doubt..  *sigh*…

I wish I’d known you couldn’t take the cold weather and I wouldn’t have taken you skiing yesterday.. but alas.. you died on a good note.. to the White Stripes while flying down Mt. Hood..

My heart aches with your loss.. and my loss.. financially I mean.. because I don’t know how long I can go without replacing you. I will move on – to a fifth generation iPod next time.. color video and all..

*sniff, sniff*… goodbye my darling…

    “Then they all began making lame excuses. The first said, “I bought a piece of property and need to look it over. Send my regrets.’

    “Another said, “I just bought five teams of oxen, and I really need to check them out. Send my regrets.’

    “And yet another said, “I just got married and need to get home to my wife.’

    “The servant went back and told the master what had happened. He was outraged and told the servant, “Quickly, get out into the city streets and alleys. Collect all who look like they need a square meal, all the misfits and homeless and wretched you can lay your hands on, and bring them here.’

    “The servant reported back, “Master, I did what you commanded–and there’s still room.’

    “The master said, “Then go to the country roads. Whoever you find, drag them in. I want my house full! Let me tell you, not one of those originally invited is going to get so much as a bite at my [Thanksgiving dinner].’”

Luke 14:16-24

This evening as I returned from my Nana’s house I kept replaying a scene at the dinner table. It was right after we had all over-eaten and the inevitable “we live in the best country in the world” talk began.

I listened for awhile before chiming in on a statistic I had just read the day before – I said, “Well…… 18,000 people died today from lack of food and water.”

I admit, I liked the shock value – because if I don’t shock myself daily then I quickly lose sight and forget that while I am uncomfortably full – mothers and fathers, and sons and daughters are dying of malnutrition.

I tried the “with great power comes great responsibility” angle – but no one seemed interested in thinking about the 90 million children who are severely food-deprived right now. They don’t have names or faces – truthfully, they are barely even people to us.

How can I be so numb, and so complacent? At times I feel so guilty and ashamed I am simply beside myself in anger, frustration and sadness.

I went to three Thanksgiving dinners this week.

We didn’t have any misfits, or homeless, or wretched sitting at our tables – yet that’s who showed up for Jesus’s Thanksgiving dinner. It was the comfortable people who had it all together who rejected His offer.

It’s not hard to see who I am in this parable.

God forgive me.

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