Engagement is sort of how I imagine purgatory, with the relationship hanging in limbo between two states of being – dating and marriage. Even though I already feel like I have permanently committed myself to Nick, and I wear a ring symbolizing that commitment to him, it’s still not official yet. I’m beginning to think being engaged is an artificial state created by the wedding industry to increase profit margins and potentially impede relational growth. Conversations get diverted away from each other to the wedding… are the ushers’ vests supposed to match the groomsmen? should our invitations have outer envelopes?
Thankfully, neither of us have lost our heads in the process – I can hardly believe the wedding is only 88 days away… it feels both close & an infinity away. This event has ballooned a bit beyond what I’d initially envisioned but it’s wonderful so many people want to be involved, especially as it’s the only time I’ll be able to get all these representatives of our lives together under one roof.
Yesterday Nick & I met with a financial planner and we began talking about how we’re going to merge our money and what our priorities will be. Money can be such a trap and too many couples fight over it (even when there’s plenty), and so we’re trying to come up with a strategy that will work for us. We’re thinking through how we’ll save for our first home, our future kids, etc… it’s still a bit surreal to be at that stage in life already – the first 24 years have flown by and I suspect the next 24 will too.
7 Responses to “Engagement is sort of how I imagine purgatory”
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Twitter: EstherCrawford
- @jeffreine that bridge gives me chills
- @jeffreine yep! and watched tv ... I'm pretty sure every night should end like that
- @soccerhaus it was pretty hilarious... then another couple came in and started making out too.. it never ended
April 5th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Hello Ms, Esther,
You worked hard to make your site simple yet elegant. The video is a nice touch. I see that you are getting married! I am reminded of an appropriate scripture: 37 As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38 For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; 39 and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. (Matthew 24:37-39)
I like to write articles about God and religion on my site. I want to help people to really get to know God, especially in these troubled times. I hope you get a chance to look at them.
March 6th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
I totally understand. It was such a relief for Brian and I when we were done with our wedding plans and just enjoyed our special day together. It’s strange how something can be so wonderful and so stressful at the same time.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
i love this picture of you two
that’s an awesome idea about the financial planner….keep us posted on things you learn throughout this journey, okay? it’s helpful stuff!! 
p.s. i’m still trying to figure out a way to dash in for the wedding
February 27th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Wonder who the photographer was :) I agree that it is a very tender picture. 88 days – lots to do – much joy – looking forward to meeting all of your Oregon friends and family. Blessings and love to Nick and Esther!
February 27th, 2008 at 10:09 am
lovely photo…savor these days and the ones to come, they do fly by. Much love to you both!
February 26th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Good plan with the financial advisor.
February 26th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
You’re definitely right about all the years zipping by. Feels like riding one of those astronaut G-force testing merry go round thingys– they just keep speeding up and speeding up. whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! =)