44 days to go… and I’m thinking the next 6+ weeks will involve a lot of, “Am I in labor yet?”

I swear, I pay disturbingly close attention to every bodily function. For instance, we learned in our Bradley Method classes that diarrhea is an early sign of labor – so when I woke up with runny poo a few days ago I internally had a little freak out wondering if it was that time. And ever since I learned about the mucus plug, I can’t help but inspect my underwear and toilet paper for signs that it’s dislodged. Too much information, I know.

I’m assuming this neurosis is common among first-timers… even my dreams now frequently play out possible birthing scenarios. The odd thing is that I don’t have a lot of fear about the birth process – it’s so clear that women’s bodies are designed for pushing babies out – but I think it’s the inability to control or predict the when / how of the process that makes me anxious. I want to have a natural and beautiful experience, but I don’t really get to choose how things go down.

Tomorrow is my next pre-natal visit with my midwife, and I’m curious to see if anything has changed from 2 weeks ago when she warned me about the protein in my urine and the edema in my left leg (two of the more minor signs of pre-eclampsia). I feel really good so I’m pretty confident those minor issues have or will work themselves out without medical intervention… and it’ll just be a relief if I get a totally clean bill tomorrow. Fingers crossed.