There’s a huge learning curve to being a first-time mom – it felt like one minute I was living my happy little life and the next minute an amazingly adorable and yet incredibly demanding baby (who is awake at all the wrong times) was super glued to my boob. Ah… I can read all you ladies’ minds already thinking, “Welcome to the mommyhood”.
The past 12 days have afforded plenty of time for reflection and I think the major take-away so far has been the unpredictability of parenthood. After all the books I’d read I felt pretty prepared for labor and the post-partum period… how sadly mistaken I was. Virtually nothing has been as I expected or planned. From the pain of labor itself to the surprise of having a c-section to my continuing struggle to breastfeed. Oh, and let’s not forget the weepiness I felt the first few days at home (I seriously did not know it was possible to cry that much). It’s all just been so overwhelming and my emotions tend to swing wildly between extremes.
I have all these posts and pictures I want to put together and share, but my thoughts are scattered and somehow there’s never enough time in the day. Most people have reassured me that each day gets easier – however, today when I was whining a bit to my mom who has been staying with us for a couple of weeks, she looked me right in the eye and said, “Well… I hate to say this but when they’re newborns – that’s the easy time”.
*sigh*
Stephanie: Welcome to motherhood. It’s the most amazing, marvelous, miraculous, demanding, difficult job ever. And – you’re right – it is “unpredictable” in so many ways. No amount of reading or thinking about parenting can quite prepare you for the reality of it – the overwhelming love that greets you when your baby enters the world.1 year ago
Christina: I do not think that the NEWborn phase is the easiest – getting nearly no sleep, and adjusting to sharing your life with a little one is very difficult. I’d say that your easiest time probably comes between 2 – 8 months (or whenever they start crawling :p). Once they’re mobile, watch out.
I had terrible post-partum depression – it knocked me flat on my butt, so do not feel bad, or guilty. Sometimes it just happens.
I have a 17 month old now and I can’t see my life without him, much as I’d like to escape to a mommy-wonderland-spa-getaway for a day or two. I wouldn’t want to escape forever :)1 year ago
Ross Clapper: Ok first of all you’re doing great. I think your issue is you over informed yourself so you had everything set in your mind it’ll go this way. Any mother or father that’s been where you are nothing ever goes as planned. You have to accept that & learn to flow with it & adapt.
I completely 100% disagree with your mom one because every kid is different, & two it doesn’t get harder the challenges just change.
Have some confidence in your abilities don’t listen to other people raise Jude how you want & you’ll be fine. Because you maybe new at this but you know him better than any book or anyone else.1 year ago
Amy: I got that sad feeling for the first week. I cried at the birthing center at the scary prospect of now bringing my son home. What to do next??
Breastfeeding will cause you some unbelievable pain in the beginning. That’s why most people stop. But after you get over that first few weeks of pain, it will not hurt and will be what boobs were created for. I am so glad I stuck with it. Don’t forget, it’s free as well. Formula is expensive and not as good for him. Hang in there, and nap whenever possible. If possible.1 year ago
Chrissy: Hi Esther,
I have been watching and anticipating your son’s arrival. It is exciting to see another mother jump into this adventure. It is very straining and makes your reconsider everything you thought you knew about life, your priorities and especially children, but somehow you do make it through. I just read your latest blog and I just felt I had to say, it will get easier…and when it does, you tend to look back and say “where did those first months go?”..but from a mother that was so afraid to break my son or that I was starving him, somehow it all comes together..breast feeding is rough, but I was very sad in the end when I did give it up..cherish these moments as best as you can…even though my times with my son in those first few months were full of anxiety, I feel like they went by all too fast. Now he’s 1.5 and he barely lets me get a hug because he is way to busy exploring! I hope and pray for the best..you are doing a great job!1 year ago
Aunt Betsey: I both agree and disagree with your mom. The handy thing about newborns is that they sleep a lot, and that allows you to rest, as long as you don’t insist on accomplishing “stuff.” But you’ve been through, and are still in, an exhausting, physically painful, wildly emotional and hormonal time, and as that passes and the day to day life with a baby becomes second nature, I think things get easier. And then they start smiling at you! For us hard-working, perfectionist types it’s really a gift to ourselves and our babies to settle into the process, and not feel you have to be doing anything else. The time passes so quickly and all these days are precious, precious, precious.1 year ago
Courtney: I think you are doing a wonderful job! I have been following your tweets, pictures, videos and posts since the beginning, through the birth and everyday since. You are an inspirational woman and mother! You are doing the best you can and that is all anyone can ask. My mother and grandmother struggled with breast feeding as well and I have a feeling one day I probably will too. I will continue to try and try just as you are. Keep up the good work, Jude appreciates all of your efforts.1 year ago