Esther Brady Crawford - faintstarlite

Dear Jude,

When you entered the world 21 weeks ago I didn’t have any idea what to expect. Spring was coming to an end, with summer around the corner. I was excited, nervous, and beyond tired of having you in my belly – I wanted you in my arms. You have stretched me (yes, literally… but also figuratively), and in just one summer my heart has burst open.

I frequently worry that our time together will pass too quickly. Just last week you suddenly started rolling from your back to your tummy… and in a fit of fury after your immunization shots I swear you cried out “maaaamaaaaa”. It broke my heart to hear the pain & confusion in your voice, but no worries – I won’t count that as your first word just yet…

You’re on the verge of sitting up by yourself. You love twirling around in your exersaucer. You play. And smile. And oh my gosh, you laugh! It’s absolutely the best sound I’ve ever heard. You’ve just started with solid foods and I’m happy to report that squash was a big hit. (Side note: once I get my act together I’ll quit buying it from the store & will make it in the blender. Promise.)

Here’s the thing… I need you to slow down. I feel like I can’t fully soak it all in because you keep growing + changing every second. If I look away I’ll miss some new milestone.

Thank you for sleeping so well – now that you’re only waking up once a night I’m feeling much better. I love the mornings because of our special snuggle time where you come lay next to me in bed. Your groggy eyes look up at me while nursing. Your fingers play with my hair as you hug my breast and fill your belly. Then come the slow blinks as we nod back off to catch a few more zzZzzz’s before waking up for real.

I know someday too soon these moments will only be memories rather than part of our daily routine.

No matter how tall you get, or how old – in my heart you’ll always be my little pumpkin.

Love,

Mama