I recently discovered Jenny, a blogger who posts about weight loss, and I have to tell you that her honesty + transparency has inspired me to get real. Not just with y’all, but with myself. Yes… the weight is coming off at a healthy pace – but I rarely feel comfortable looking at my body. The days of strutting around in a bikini are gone. I won’t even buy a full length mirror.
Pregnancy really did a number on me… and not just physically. I feel less secure and more critical. And trust me, I was already duking it out with myself on the positive self-talk front before everything got all flippy floppy.
All those damn magazines with celebrities showing off their bikini bodies weeks after bringing a child into the world… I’d like to get a stack and burn ‘em. After 40 weeks of incubating my sweet son and 21 weeks of post-partum weight loss, I am left to work with this:
Those aren’t just words.
Those words frame my feelings, my self-worth, my sex drive. I know I’m strong, and I’ll ‘get there’. But sometimes I need to be frail – to be real.
Maybe someone out there can give me an amen?
It’s as if I have to make peace with my body again. No cardio will ever lift my c-section scar or my stretch marks – they’re my baby battle wounds. But… I will fit in my jeans again. I can do the work to make that happen. And, I will find a way to feel sexy again.
In fact, I’m dangerously close to getting back into one of my favorite pair, a size 6. 
Fitting in to a pair of jeans isn’t my only goal… I have much loftier ambitions:
to be nice to myself.
to find happiness at each stage.
to surrender to imperfection.
155 Responses to “The Naked Truth”
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Twitter: EstherCrawford
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October 4th, 2011 at 6:24 am
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October 3rd, 2011 at 10:49 pm
This post come up sort of messed up on my samsung, but I got the gist. Good post!
May 9th, 2011 at 5:24 pm
i think this is a beautiful blog reguarding real issues about real women. we have stretch marks , unwanted pounds , cellulite and loose skin , you look great & your confidence shines.
March 9th, 2011 at 9:56 pm
[...] The Naked Truth [...]
March 9th, 2011 at 6:07 pm
[...] week she posted this blog post and video where she discussed her true feelings about her body, especially since having a [...]
December 24th, 2010 at 1:00 pm
[via YouTube] hello guys i will teach you that Revenege is a Bitch – Just like my Ex GF Janie! Enjoy!!!
website: iHateYouJanie Cõm
December 13th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
[via YouTube] It’s nice to hear u say about ur imperfections (I don’t mean ur body – it looks fine to me). I mean when u said about eating out of pity (and other related comments). It makes u more endearing and not so Stands-With-A-Fist which is how I normally see you i.e. gritted teeth, determined, achieving, confident business woman, nothing phases you. It’s nice to be able to feel a bit closer to the person. I strangely feel reassured too by sharing this information.
November 22nd, 2010 at 1:29 am
[via YouTube] hopefully nobody gets me wrong. I sincerely didn’t know this.
It’s not that I looked perfect (like those hollywood stars) but I don’t even have the ambition to look like that. ( me 5 days after giving birth: watch?v=EbzV7WVz6MI )
And with being active I mean mostly that I danced around in my house a lot for fun and instead of walking to the bus or store I ran to it, just out of boredom. I’m lucky I’m hyperactive I guess…
I wasn’t aware woman struggled with this, but they shouldn’t, be proud.
November 22nd, 2010 at 1:20 am
[via YouTube] I really didn’t know that woman looked like this after their pregnancy. A week after birthing my daughter I went swimming in a bikini and nobody could see I just gave birth a week ago, and I thought it was normal.
But then again… at that time I was still vegetarian and eating a lot of fruits and vegetables and was active, so I had a good amount of muscle (not obvious, but they were strong). Especially the muscles (abs) helps a lot to keep looking/being healthy through and after a pregnancy.
October 29th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Best you should change the webpage subject The Naked Truth FaintStarLite – Braving motherhood and the cold in Milwaukee to something more specific for your webpage you create. I liked the post nevertheless.
October 19th, 2010 at 8:38 pm
Esther, you are awesome! I love how brave you are. Pregnancy is crazy hard on our bodies and some things will never return to the way they were. I hear you on the stretch marks, cellulite and general flip floppiness.
October 14th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
You look beautiful!! I try to remind myself that there are so many women who would give ANYTHING to have a stretchy belly because they carried a child, but can’t. It’s tough to let the former flat-belly go, and embrace the new one, but you’re doing an awesome job. Congratulations on all you’ve done!!
September 10th, 2010 at 6:07 am
Hi, I found this site through your YouTube (I watch weight loss vids because I currently lost 66 lbs and am on my own journey). I just wanted to recommend the YouTuber FitYummyMummy to you. She specializes in workouts that benefit moms trying to tone up and lose the baby weight–she did so herself, if you look at her site, she regains her YummyMummy status. I hope this helps, you seem really sweet, and my heart goes out to you since you are so close to your goal again. -Euthie
September 2nd, 2010 at 1:31 pm
[via YouTube] You can tone up a bit, that gets rid of a lot of the loose skin.
August 16th, 2010 at 10:51 am
[via YouTube] Thx 4 the vid. When i was pregs, I used to go to a website showing real women after birth. I am still struggling to lose mine. I joined WW as well, & i am working out aprox. 20 activity pts per wk at least. Its hard to eat enough bcus I have 22 pts., plus the extra 35 per week, & w/the workouts, I get at least 20 xtra per wk. I only lost 1.2lbs in a mo, bcus i am so confused abt how much i should be eating. My next weigh in is 2morrow. Wish me luck. WOrkin on eating more filllng foods.