Sharing our foster-adoption journey

We started the process in December ’09 and are just a few weeks away from getting licensed, and once we’re licensed we’ll start getting offers for placement right away. Since we’ve been asked so many questions along the way it seemed best to create a series of posts + videos explaining our entire journey. The series will be broken down into 7 parts, each one posted every 2 weeks.

Johnson & Johnson’s Health Channel heard about our desire to create this series and graciously wanted to sponsor it – so thank you J&J for helping us spread the message about foster-adoption.

Wanting to adopt domestically but don’t know where to start?

It’s a stream-lined process and although it varies state-to-state, it’s pretty similar everywhere in the US.

Let me be clear: there is no right or wrong way to adopt. Every child from every corner of the world deserves a safe + loving home. Too many folks get caught up in the domestic vs. international, foster vs. private disputes. Arguing over those personal decisions is futile and hurtful. And it seems no matter what you choose there’s someone waiting to point out why you should’ve gone a different direction.

We initially planned to adopt internationally from Ethiopia. Maybe someday we will. But after weighing all our options we decided what was best for our family at this time was to first pursue foster-adoption.

I thought adoption was expensive?!

Most people are surprised that adopting domestically through foster-adoption is free. Yes, FREE.

In fact, we were shocked to find out they pay us (a very rough estimate being $300/mo per child) and in many cases, even after the adoption is complete the state will continue paying the monthly stipend until the child is 18. Why? Because there are a lot of waiting children – especially sibling groups of 2+ which are considered “special needs” since they’re harder to place.

If you thought adoption had to cost thousands that’s because when considering options, adoption agencies often come to mind since they have marketing budgets for advertising – and they do charge. Sometimes a lot. Usually $20,000+.

There are agencies that focus on international adoption, agencies that focus on domestic adoption, and agencies that do both. The benefit of going the agency route in domestic adoption is they buffer your risk by seeking placements from across the country. They also work outside of the foster care system – meaning, they place pregnant women with potential families.

Baby Jude is excited to add to the family

Risks of foster adoption

All kids in the foster system have experienced some kind of neglect in order to be removed from their birth family, unless they fall under the “safe haven” provision which allows parents who no longer feel capable of caring for their child(ren) to relinquish custody without penalty.

Unfortunately there’s a stigma that’s been placed on kids in foster care. Hopefully positive images like Sandra Bullock’s movie The Blind Side will help change that because children are surprisingly resilient. All kids deserve a chance to have a family no matter what mistakes their birth parents have made.

Just how many kids are waiting in the US? Where we live in Milwaukee County alone, on any given day there are 2,300 kids needing foster homes and only 700 families. The latest estimates (Oct ’09) place the wait list at 123,000 kids here in America… waiting for a mommy. [Ever see those photo galleries with kids? Access to the full database becomes available to you online after you've been licensed.]

In the case of Wisconsin, in order to adopt we are required to also be licensed foster parents as well. This means that we take an inherent risk of losing the children we’re trying to adopt because there are no guarantees until the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) is complete, which generally takes at least 6 months after they’ve been placed in our home. Essentially every placement in a pre-adoptive home in our state is considered a legal risk placement.

“Until a termination of parental rights is ordered by the court, the child remains in a foster care placement… this may require revealing your identity and address to the birth parents, and having the child available for visitation with biological family members or other important people to the child. However, if and when the court legally frees the child for adoption, barring any unforeseen circumstances, your home will be considered the first choice for adoption of the child.” – Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin, “Legal Risk Placement” handout

Once you’ve determined that you’re prepared to take the leap of faith required – it’s then safe to officially advance to Step 1.

Adoption Step 1: Check requirements + attend an informational meeting

Odds are that you fit exactly what the state is looking for because – let’s be honest – the standards are pretty easy to meet.

• You must be 21 years of age or older.
• You may be single, married, widowed, or be in a long term partnership. No pending separations or divorces.
• You must be in good health and be willing to provide documentation from your doctor’s office.
• You may have children or none at all. If you have 5+ you may need a special request document.
• You can own or rent your home.
• You have to have enough space in the home. Children 6+ years old can’t share a room with the opposite gender.
• You have to have enough income to be able to provide for the child. They’ll look at your debt-income ratio but there aren’t specific income (must make X dollars) requirements.

Other things to note:

• You need to have a home study conducted. This includes complying with safety checklists.
• You must provide proof of homeowner’s or renter’s insurance as well as automobile liability insurance.
• You have to pass a criminal background check.
• You need at least 3 non-related friends to vouch for your sanity.
• You must agree to comply with state and national regulations, such as their “no corporeal punishment” policy.

{Disclaimer: All information provided is based on our experience of the foster-adoption licensing process in the state of Wisconsin. To find out more, contact AdoptUsKids.org.}