We are still in limbo regarding Peach.
Monday afternoon we met with her Kindergarten teacher, her special education teacher and her speech pathologist. Walking into the elementary school was surreal – it screamed, “You could soon be the parent of a child who goes HERE.”
We were mostly keeping the meeting to be polite and to hopefully help the next family matched with Peach because all the information provided would be recorded in her file.
But as they each articulated, very clearly, Peach’s path and trajectory we found ourselves becoming hopeful once again that perhaps she is the right match for our family.
She’s exceeded all the goals set in her IEP. She no longer stands out from the crowd as socially awkward. She’s delightful and inquisitive.
She still routinely needs redirection but the overall point is that she has made huge strides and doesn’t seem developmentally delayed, despite the earlier questions that raised the possibility of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
“She’s a determined little girl,” was the consensus.
As we walked out of the meeting we both found ourselves dumbfounded. How can one child be characterized in so many completely opposite ways? One minute she’s bright and witty. The next, she’s potentially profoundly delayed.
The adoption placement worker was at the meeting and afterward we shared our frustration about how we’re beginning to feel schizophrenic. We’re caught on a merry-go-round of yes, no, yes, no.
She’s a delight in school – it’s clear her teachers enjoy her and think she’s got a great future ahead if she’s given the right opportunities. Perhaps at home she’s more challenging because of the unstructured environment, or maybe, her foster mom finds her higher need for attention more overwhelming because she’s got three biological children she’s also carrying for – all as a single mom.
The truth about who Peach is and what she’s like is probably found somewhere in the middle of all of this information, but after a month of uncertainty we just want to arrive at a decision… so, we’re meeting Peach. Hopefully next week.
Our hearts are fully open to either way things go, and we’re both at peace about it.
We want what’s best for our family and what’s best for her.
7 Responses to “The Merry-Go-Round”
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October 3rd, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Good day! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!
October 8th, 2010 at 12:50 pm
You have to go with your gut. And I really think when you meet her, you’ll know, and maybe all the logic you’ve been working on won’t matter?
I know that for my boys, who you know have special needs too, they have always had raving reviews from teachers. It’s often easier for them to hold it together at school all day and then fall apart when they get home. Even our most unstructured days weren’t as structured as school, but moreso they feel the comfort and safety of home to really vent and let it out. It’s frustrating but I am so glad they don’t keep everything bottled up ALL the time.
I’m sure there’s also parenting styles playing a part here, and a special needs child needs SUCH intentional parenting, I mean all kids do but SN kids can’t function w/out it. It’s possible Peach isn’t getting that at home right now, or it’s possible she is, but she gets home so overstimulated from her day and holding it all together that she has to let it out somehow (and would anywhere).
Anyways, just some thoughts from a SN mom. :) Of course I’d tell you that SN kids are MORE than blessings on a family, but it’s really so individual and regardless, you guys need to do what’s best for you. Love you mucho. <3
September 22nd, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Good luck. Trust yourselves. You will know. :)
September 22nd, 2010 at 2:33 pm
I agree with Miss Jones – good luck meeting Peach! Hopefully that will make everything clear. And thank you so much for sharing your journey… as someone who wants to adopt … I find all of this so helpful.
GOOD LUCK!
September 22nd, 2010 at 1:22 pm
I’m so glad you will get to meet her!
Steph
September 22nd, 2010 at 10:45 am
The whole point is they want to see if you are vigilant and not ambivalent. I really hope she is the child for you. In sha’allah you will have your answer.
September 22nd, 2010 at 10:42 am
What a ride! This must be an emotional rollercoster for you and your family. I would take what the teachers said in consideration. I guess they spend the most time with her.